melissa / mayhem

my waste of time place. LA kid. red lips and cinderella hips. believe the hype...

melissamayhem at gmail dotcom

burning questions?

i have another NSFW blog too. Inquire Within...
fuck to YOU, roommie.  i’m gonna be weird like you and take a roll of TP into the bathroom back & forth upon every use.  YES REALLY.  THIS IS HAPPENING. 
THIS. is. happening.  in my life.  in my [early] 30s no less.  She is withholding TP.  This is next level insanity.  Talk about weird shit, amirite?  (also, puns are NOT intended for any use of the word ‘shit’)
i keep thinking it can’t get any weirder and then it’s like, “WELL, touche, my friend.”  tip o’ the hat to you for being the…..i don’t even know……most annoying? randomly petty? not actually my worst roommate, which is saying A LOT….?  what.  what do we do here. 
my bed will be out on thursday.  i can tell she will try to fuck me on the security deposit like a dirty pirate whore with a syphilitic vagina, but, meh.  78% of my packing has been picking up stuff of the floor and taking it mere blocks away in small increments.  could be worse. 
anyway.  TP.  Don’t know what you’ve got till its gone.

fuck to YOU, roommie.  i’m gonna be weird like you and take a roll of TP into the bathroom back & forth upon every use.  YES REALLY.  THIS IS HAPPENING. 

THIS. is. happening.  in my life.  in my [early] 30s no less.  She is withholding TP.  This is next level insanity.  Talk about weird shit, amirite?  (also, puns are NOT intended for any use of the word ‘shit’)

i keep thinking it can’t get any weirder and then it’s like, “WELL, touche, my friend.”  tip o’ the hat to you for being the…..i don’t even know……most annoying? randomly petty? not actually my worst roommate, which is saying A LOT….?  what.  what do we do here. 

my bed will be out on thursday.  i can tell she will try to fuck me on the security deposit like a dirty pirate whore with a syphilitic vagina, but, meh.  78% of my packing has been picking up stuff of the floor and taking it mere blocks away in small increments.  could be worse. 

anyway.  TP.  Don’t know what you’ve got till its gone.

The shit has hit the fan. Pretty sure my roommate is holding all of the TP hostage.

laineydiemond:

everyone is george

Still my Summer of George, currently

laineydiemond:

everyone is george

Still my Summer of George, currently

(Source: yoloswag3000)

for what

for what

Meaning of life.

Meaning of life.

By @iat12 @cutlabhairstudio

By @iat12 @cutlabhairstudio

This baby is not a jerk

This baby is not a jerk

The bags in front of us are full of tamales

The bags in front of us are full of tamales

Owls. Not what they seem.

Owls. Not what they seem.

I’ve moved so many times that I don’t actually keep much stuff.

I’ve moved so many times that I don’t actually keep much stuff.

she did say ‘Greece’

she did say ‘Greece’

(Source: straightwhiteboystexting)

catmansmuckers:

freelancefailure:

tittily:

my favorite thing about england is that the word pulp doesnt exist 

I think you’ll find that England have the best pulp of all


This is what I was waiting for.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

catmansmuckers:

freelancefailure:

tittily:

my favorite thing about england is that the word pulp doesnt exist 

I think you’ll find that England have the best pulp of all

image

This is what I was waiting for.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS